Tips for Surviving Workplace Assholes

THE BIGGEST AND BEST LESSON: ESCAPE IF YOU POSSIBLY CAN.

The best thing to do if you are stuck under thumb of an asshole (or a bunch of them) is to get out as fast as you can. You are at great risk of suffering personal damage and of turning into as asshole yourself

1. Start with polite confrontation. Some people really don’t mean to be assholes.

They might be surprised if you gently let them know that they are leaving you feeling belittled and demeaned.  Other assholes are demeaning on purpose, but may stop if you stand-up to them in a civil, but, firm manner.

2. If a bully keeps spewing venom at you, limit your contact with the creep as much as possible.

Try to avoid any meetings you can with the jerk.  Do telephone meetings if possible. Keep conversations as short as possible. Be polite but don’t provide a lot of personal information during meetings of any kind, including email exchanges. 

3. Find ways to enjoy “small wins” over assholes.

If you can’t reform or expel the bully, find small ways to gain control and to fight back -– it will make you feel powerful and just might convince the bully to leave you and others alone.

4. Practice indifference and emotional detachment

learn how not to let an asshole touch your soul.  Management gurus and executives are constantly ranting about the importance of commitment, passion, and giving all you have to a job. That is good advice when your bosses and peers treat you with dignity. But if you work with people who treat you like dirt, they have not earned your passion and commitment.

5. Keep an asshole diary

carefully document what the jerk does and when it happens. Carefully document what the jerk does and when it happens.

6. Recruit Fellow Victims and Witnesses.

 

16 TYPES OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK

 

1)

1) The “Lurker” – Never posts anything or comments on your post, but reads everything, and might make reference to your status if they… see you in public.
… …
2) The “Hyena” – Doesn’t ever really say anything, just LOLs and LMAOs at everything.
 
3) “Mr/Ms Popular” – Has 4367 friends for NO reason
 
4) The “Gamer” – Plays Words With Friends, Mafia Wars, Bakes virtual cakes and stuff, etc., ALL DAY.)
 
5)The “Prophet” – Every post makes reference to God or Jesus
 
6) The “Thief” – Steals status updates.. and will probably steal this one.
 
7) The “Cynic” – Hates their life, and everything in it, as evidenced by the somber tone in ALL of their status updates.
 
8) The “Collector” – Never posts anything either, but joins every group and becomes fans of the most random stuff.
 
9) The “Promoter” – Always sends event invitations to things that you ultimately delete or ignore.
 
10) The “Liker” – Never actually says anything, buy always clicks the “like” button
 
11) The “Hater” – Every post revolves around someone hating on them, and they swear people are trying to ruin their life
 
12) The “Anti-Proofreader” – This person would benefit greatly from Spellcheck, and sometimes you feel bad for them because you don’t know if they were typing fast, or really cant spell.
 
13) “Drama Queen/ King” – This person always posts stuff like “I can’t believe this!”, or “They gonna make me snap today!”, in the hopes that you will ask what happened, or what’s wrong…but then they never finish telling the story.
 
14) “Womp Womp” – This person consistently tries to be funny…but never is.
 
15) The “News” – Always updates you on what they are doing and who they are doing it with, no matter how arbitrary
 
16) The “Rooster” – Feels that it is their job to tell Facebook “Good Morning” every day.
 
Which one are you….be HONEST!!

 

The Impotent Rapist

“My husband is a patient of sugar and blood pressure for the last 18 years and his left kidney is also not working. With existing physical condition he cannot rape and being his wife I can say this with certainty.” This is what Asha, the wife of BSP MLA Purushottam Naresh Dwivedi told the media in January this year.

In November 2010, Neelu (name given by media) was abducted and allegedly sold in a village in UP. The village pradhan and a police constable were responsible for the abduction. The girl’s father, eventually recovered her, and went to Purushottam Naresh Dwivedi, the local MLA for help. The noble MLA was magnanimous and it was decided that the girl would stay in Purushottam’s house, where she would have adequate ‘’protection’’. It appears that over there, Neelu was raped repeatedly by Purushottam and two of his bodyguards.

One fine day, Neelu managed to escape from the clutches of Dwivendi. When the hapless girl approached the local police to  lodge a complaint, she was arrested for stealing the MLA’s licenced rifle and Rs 2 lakh. Being a minor, Neelu was entitled to protection under the provisions of the Juvenile Justice Act. However, she was sent to jail, instead she should have been sent to a juvenile care centre. Finally the Gulabi Gang* came to the rescue and helped publicize her plight to the public and media. Currently the entire case is being invested by the CBI.

Behenji Mayawati decided to kick into action at some point. She suspended Dwivendi from the party. In typical UP style, Asha Dwivedi will take over the mantle from her husband. And surprise surprise, she will probably be getting a ticket for the next elections from the Samajwadi Party (BSP’s mail rival sin UP).

 

Shutters Closed, Blinds Drawn, Doors Locked Against you

Shutters closed, blinds drawn, doors locked against you. It’s the loneliest feeling in the world – to find yourself standing up when everyone else is sitting down. It is a realisation way down inside that I have always been lonely for something But WHAT that is the answer that evades me.

It is the feeling that I am well aware of it is like walking down the empty streets listening to the sound of your own footsteps. It is uncanny and then you begin to ask a question whether you’re walking toward something, or if you’re just walking away.

Everytime you start life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make a mark, you face decisions, Make choices, You keep moving forward. But Sooner or later comes a time where you look back over where you have been and wonder who you really are.

The land I walk is Lonely, The Sea I cross Is Lonley. Lonely air of beach I stroll. These thoughts make me lonely, they draw my blood of preciuous life to bless my veins with coursing strife.

I wish I was a child again, Nestled in my mother’s arms. I long to hear “It’ll be all right,”

As she gently strokes my hair. ‘Cause grownup problems can seem too tough.Hard to face them on my own.

I wish I was a child again,Nestled in my mother’s arms.

 

THE GIRL WAS BAD. THE GIRL WAS DANGEROUS

The way she came into the place, I knew right then and there, There was something different, About this girl, The way she moved, Her hair, her face, her lines, Divinity in motion, As she stalked the room, The girl was persuasive,

THE kiss of this girl was a Drop as a honeycomb And her mouth was Smoother than oil, The Innocence in her eyes were that of a child, her gaze made me tell the truth, her touch was silk, her hair smelled like the morning dew, But her inner spirit and words Were as sharp as A two edged sword But I loved it, when she touched my hand for the first time I wanted nothing more than to hold it for ever

She stood by me, she made me saw the truth she brought joy to my life, The joy which was never ever there for me, made my every dream come true,

she was my strength when I was weak, she was my voice when I couldn’t speak, She saw the best there was in me, lifted me when i could not reach, she made me believe in god, faith i believed because i had faith in her, she was my eyes when I could not see. I was everything that I was because she loved me. That was what I thought

Wings that made me fly, hand that could touch the sky, faith returned back which i had lost .I stood tall when she stood next to me. with her no star was ever out of my reach. My world was a better place because of her, Her lies no matter what, were the truth. THIS WAS THAT GIRL

BUT

When a man loves a woman you cannot keep your mind on nothing else, a man will trade the world for the good thing that he has found. Even if the girl is bad he cannot see it,

When a man is in love he would turn his back on his friends, comforts thrown away, sleep lost, sleep in the rain,

But When a Man deeply loves a woman, she can bring in a misery of biblical proportions if she is playing him for a fool, because he will be the last one to know as LOVE IS BLIND

I never knew but I was Walking the line, Come go with me I said, Talk on the phone and cried, and there she was gone LOOKING FOR A ANOTHER FAIRY TALE, LOOKING FOR A ANOTHER BEAST FOR THE BEAUTY SHE WAS, LOOKING FOR THE PRINCE CHARMING ON THE WHITE HORSE, And left me standing alone, and than  it is rightly said

A wicked way to hurt the heart of someone who loves you, is when you take advantage of their love with lies and deception,

SO SHE WAS THIS GIRL, THE GIRL WHO WAS EVERYTHING TO ME, BUT NOW SHE IS THE GIRL

I CANNOT TRUST, THE GIRL NO ONE CAN TRUST, THE GIRL WAS BAD, THE GIRL WAS DANGEROUS.

 

Harsh words & violent blows

                                                

Harsh words & violent blows, Hidden secrets Nobody Know

Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I’m warped and twisted
So many tricks and so many lies
Too many whens and too many whys
Nobody’s special, nobody’s gifted
I’m just me, warped and twisted

 
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number’s unlisted
Lost in someone so warped and twisted

On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I’ve bled
I’m almost gone, my mind has drifted
Don’t expect much, I’m warped and twisted
Burnt out, wasted, sad, and hollow
Today’s just yesterday’s tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I’m still here, warped and twisted

 

So Ok Me And My Friends Are Crazy..So here is For the Crazy One’s

Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers.

The square pegs in round holes. The ones who see things differently.

They aren’t fond of rules, and they have no respect for status quota. You can quote us , disagree with us, glorify or vilify us, but the one thing you can’t do is ignore us  because we change things. we  push the human race forward and while some see us crazy ones – we see ourselves genius “ So you don’t agreee…balls to you , because the ones who are crazy enough to think that can change the world, are the ones that do….Don’t believe me ….Take your old history book and read it…